What Triangle?

Remember when you were a kid, and your parents couldn’t walk fast enough as you pulled their arm dragging them around Disney Land? You were captivated by the cute pastel colored houses, the small roads, and the pure magic that seemed to power the entire little city. Welcome to Bermuda…Disney Land for adults. The roads are small (they may even be smaller than Disney’s), the houses are not only painted wonderfully bright colors but are given names as well, and the place seems to be magical as you walk through pink sand beaches to swim in beautiful turquoise water.

There is something completely surreal about flying into the middle of the Atlantic ocean and feeling the plane descend into what appears to be only endless blue water. It’s not until you get really close to this tiny island that you can see the thin stripe of green land dotted with white roofs and surrounded by pink sand. Here...640 miles west-northwest of North Carolina, you will find the most churches and golf courses per capita in the world. Here...the average house price is a bargain at $985,000. Here...there are more reinsurance firms than there are grains of sand on the beach. There is no Home Depot. No budget shopping at IKEA. And nowhere on this island will you find a WalMart, a McDonalds, or a Starbucks. It truly is magical.

Although commonly referred to in the singular, Bermuda consists of approximately 138 islands, with a total area of 53.3 square kilometers (20.6 sq mi). In order to better understand the Bermudian mindset, you must only look at the organization of the island and things will become clear, or more accurately, less clear. Despite the limited landmass, there has been a tendency for place names to be repeated. There are two islands named “Long Island,” three bays known as “Long Bay,” and “St. George’s Town” is located on “St. George’s Island” within “St. George’s Parish” (each known as St. George's). Bermuda's capital, the “city of Hamilton,” lies in Pembroke Parish not in “Hamilton Parish” on the largest island, “Main Island,” which itself is sometimes called “Bermuda.” Don’t worry...it only gets more confusing when you try to understand the roads.

Any local, especially the one you are dating, will tell you how easy it is to get around Bermuda. After all, there are only three roads. Well...almost. There is North Shore Road, which follows the northern shore of the island. South Shore road, which follows the southern shore. And Middle road, which...well...you get the idea. But what about all of those little roads that branch off of these three main roads? Only three roads, eh? After spending too much time reading the Bermuda phone book, I now know there are almost 2,000 tiny roads that zig and zag through small neighborhoods, between tree lined parks, and around cliff edged walls. Twenty years ago these roads were not even named. Talk about going postal. Instead of using 318 Ord Road, directions were given as “the pink house with the green shutters after the big tree on the blind corner.” Locals still prefer this descriptive method even though the roads now have very unique names such
as Needle and Thread Alley, Hook N Ladder Lane, and Between the Walls.

But let's not focus on where we are going but how we are getting there. In order to minimize the amount of cars on the road, only one car is allowed per household. Yes, Bermuda is small, but you still need transportation. It seems I have gone from riding a bike around Europe to riding a bike around a tiny island in the middle of the Atlantic. Only this bike requires no leg muscles as it is a 50cc scooter with a comfy padded seat! One twist back on the handle and off I go! Well...up to the 35 km/hr island speed limit. Rain or shine (and there is plenty of rain), you will see everyone from the local schoolteachers to fancy CEOs riding to work in suits and heels. And don’t worry...when you get to work, you are not the only one with helmet hair! You will quickly come to love your helmet after your first commute to Hamilton, the capital city of this bustling island. Bikes weave in and out of traffic into the oncoming lane, around turning cars, or
between the stone walls to reach the front of the line. Just remember in all of that weaving that you need to stay on the left side of the road, and you will be driving like a local in no time!

And if you think driving on the roads is a bit hairy, imagine running on them. Settled in the early 1600s by the British, Bermuda’s current roads were once narrow carriage ways chiseled away through stone walls, over hills, and around beach cliffs. The result is a narrow one to two-lane road with no sidewalks and vehicle size restrictions. How big is too big? If the mid-sized Honda CRVs find themselves on the restricted list, you can imagine how scary it is to have two full sized city buses hurling past each other on these narrow roads. Amalfi coast bus drivers take a seat! Blind corners, cliff walls, and narrow passes make running on the road less of a relaxing activity and more of a obstacle course in staying alive. I don’t know if my heart rate goes up because of the cardio workout or because of the adrenaline scare at every corner!

Just like any of my other travels, there is always an adjustment period as I learn about different customs and unique mannerisms. At least Bermudians speak English. Although, given that most people here have a Bermudian, English, Irish, Scottish, South African, or Aussie accent, it sometimes feels as if people are speaking a different language. Seeing as I have a local to show me ins and outs, I can already tell I am picking up the island habits quickly. As soon as I open cereal, bread, crackers...ok...anything that was once packaged, I put it in the fridge so it doesn’t go stale as quickly. I wash everything before throwing it in the trash, unless I want the ant roads to turn into super highways. In Colorado, we use humidifiers to keep our dessert climate tolerable. In Bermuda, we use dehumidifiers to keep our clothes from molding. I weave in and out of traffic with the best of them. And before I even consider yelling for Mark to come grab the
cockroach, I have already grabbed the nearest shoe and am swinging for the fences!

In addition to adding certain habits to my new lifestyle, a certain mindset needs to be adapted in order to survive the island lifestyle. Business, conversations, and life in general move slower here on “the rock.” If you need to go to the bank, take the afternoon off...you will need it. The post service is amazing…amazingly slow (maybe it has to do with the aforementioned road name issue). The more impatient and upset you get with the lack of customer service, the worse it will get. Stop comparing the prices here to the prices “back home.” It costs what it costs and yes...it is extortion. Ok, so it’s true that everything we buy had to be shipped to our tiny island, but we still feel frustrated when we pay five times more for something and wait ten times longer to buy it. In the states, when you run to the store for milk and bread, you end up spending $100 because you remembered you also needed shampoo, dinner, and the latest issue of
People magazine. In Bermuda, you go to the store and you spend $100, and you literally only bought milk and bread.

So it is that I find myself trading my ski hat hair for helmet hair. Signs in the store windows now warn that “Helmets are forbidden” instead of ski boots. No matter how much time I dedicate to straightening my hair, humidity will always win. I have to factor in the price of an airline ticket when I want to shop for styles that don’t include shells and fish logos. I catch my drinking water from the rain as it washes off the roof. And this mountain girl smiles every time she crests a hill and sees the blue ocean rippling into the horizon.

Always looking to take the road less traveled (and in this case very narrow),

Kristyn